


sunlight, moonlight

by rainclouded



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, lisa kisses both hikawa sisters, these might not be the right relationship tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29869542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainclouded/pseuds/rainclouded
Summary: Sayo just wishes her sister would leave her alone. Lisa would do anything to have what Sayo has.
Relationships: Hikawa Hina/Imai Lisa, Hikawa Sayo & Imai Lisa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	sunlight, moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place sometime during Roselia BS1.

I knew, from the start, that when she looked at me with those sparkling eyes I was never the one reflected in them. That was her sister, or the starry sky she'd seen last night, or whatever complicated book she'd been obsessed with recently. I was just a convenient conduit, a vessel for her to pour her overflowing excitement into but never its source.

That was fine. Really, it was. There would never be anything I could do to beat Sayo, anyway, and I got a kind of smug superiority from being the one Hina confided in the most. For the moment, it was an acceptable substitute for what it was I really wanted.

But the pleasant equilibrium that I'd gotten used to between us was never so stable or lasting as it appeared, something that was obvious to me in retrospect but never crossed my mind at the time.

I'd never thought that eventually, I would hear someone else's name—not mine, not Sayo's—from her lips in that same exuberant, wondering tone she spoke about everything that fascinated her.

I was warm and fun to be around, she always told me, but hearing those girls' names, girls I hadn't met or barely new, filled me with something cold and bitter and unpleasant. The kind of something I had to try my hardest not to let spill out lest she taste it, grow disgusted, and leave me. It was an increasingly unsatisfying, increasingly unhappy relationship for me, but still I clung to it, for fear that without her company I would be completely empty.

My concentration in band practice, which had never been great to begin with, further deteriorated to the point where Yukina seemed as though she was about to kick me out of the band right then and there. Sayo would've normally been just as sharp, but she seemed preoccupied with something as well. Maybe even the same person I was.

After practice, she called out to me, a rare event. Sayo's bitter dislike of her own sister seemed to extend to the people Hina liked, and for my part I wasn't exactly inclined to be all buddy-buddy with someone who'd repeatedly hurt the person I cared most about.

"What is it?" I asked, tone colder than usual.

"I was planning to go pick up some more strings from the music store and wanted to know whether you'd like to accompany me."

Seemingly, she had something she wanted to talk to me about. I stared at her face, the same color hair, the same color eyes, hints of the same features poking through, but none of the warmth or exuberance I was longing for. But cold and unfriendly suited my current mood better anyway, so I said yes.

"…Hina mentioned you'd been a little distant around her recently. I was wondering if something happened between the two of you," she said as we slowly made our way towards our destination.

"Wow, you actually took the time to listen to what she said? I'm surprised," I replied, unable to resist the urge to jab at her.

"Even I try to be something resembling a proper sister sometimes. Though she certainly doesn't make it easy for me."

"She's been talking about how she _really_ wants to play guitar with you, now that she's picked it up."

A particularly painful look appeared on Sayo's face. "That's one thing I very much don't want to do with her. Because no matter how hard I practice, she'll be able to do anything I can do more effectively. She'll surpass me and wonder innocently why I'm upset, inadvertently scorning the effort I've put into finally having something I can call my own."

It would have been easy to poke at Sayo's weak spots again, but instead I felt a strange surge of empathy at her words. Hina was like a being from one of the far-off stars she loved so much, in a lot of ways. Try as we might, there was no way for people firmly stuck to the ground like us to ever be on equal footing with her. She would leave us behind, laugh, and wave, curious as to why we weren't following after her.

For the first time, I felt like Sayo and I might be similar people.

"How about we trade, then? She'll start hanging on my every word, and in return, you'll barely enter her field of vision."

She frowned. "I hardly think that you're outside of her field of vision, if that's what you're worried about. Your name comes up fairly often at dinner and in her conversations—"

Frustration welled up within me, and I closed the distance between us, grabbed her face, and kissed her, roughly, wedging open her lips to stick my tongue in before she shoved me away, a look of disgust on her face.

"What exactly are you trying to do?"

"It's what I wanted to do to your sister. What she'd never do back of her own volition. I bet if you asked her, though, she'd do it as many times as you wanted."

She looked at me appraisingly, blood welling up on her lip where my teeth had hit it. "I don't think it'd end well for you, getting into a relationship with her."

There was a good possibility Sayo was right, but her logic did nothing to stop me from wanting Hina. Between her and Yukina, it seemed like I had a hidden talent for attracting people it was unwise to get too emotionally attached to.

We completed our errand in silence, then returned home, my thoughts still swirling. It was times like these when I really wished that I had someone to confide in. Anyone would do, as long as they'd listen and not judge me for what I was saying. But those people were not, at least in my life, easy to find.

A night of sleep made me feel no better, and I wasn't in the mood to go to school and see Hina again. But just wandering around by myself was similarly unappealing, so I sent off a quick text.

_Come with me._

A response came shortly. _After school? I have something I need to help the student council with, so you'd be better off asking someone else._

_I was thinking now, actually. If you wanna come, I'll be at the station nearest my house._

I put my phone down and sighed. After a second, it lit up, presumably with a response, but I didn't care enough to actually look at it. I'd figure out soon enough whether she'd decided to come or not.

Whether the kinship I'd felt with Sayo was genuine or just a lonely girl's delusion.

The station was crowded, full of people making their commutes to work and school. Not exactly the best environment in which to find the person you were looking for, but I nevertheless scanned the crowds, looking for a glimpse of teal hair. A bright scarf here, a hair ribbon there, but no sign of Sayo.

I hadn't really thought about what I would do if she didn't show up. Going to school or band practice was probably a poor choice; I was pretty sure I would end up doing something I'd regret. Though honestly, given my mood, being self-destructive might not be so bad.

But a teal-haired girl did eventually show up, and I hated myself for hoping for a second that it was Hina, that she'd somehow telepathically sensed my feelings and had come to my rescue. It was Sayo, because of course it was Sayo, there was no way it could have been otherwise, although a stiff, serious girl like her ditching school at the word of someone she didn't even like was surprising in itself.

She looked grim, even more so than usual, as she walked up to me.

"Why didn't you answer your phone? I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh, that? I left it at home," I said flippantly. "Didn't want to have to deal with talking to people today, you know?"

Sayo stared at me blankly, then sighed. "It's a good thing I decided to come along, then. Who knows what kind of trouble you could have run into."

I opened my mouth to ask why exactly she was acting so concerned about me, but then a sudden flash of inspiration shut it. This was, I thought, probably the same way she treated Hina when they were out, as an unpredictable, irritating girl who needed supervision to ensure she didn't cause too much trouble for herself or others. Which was, in itself, not terribly flattering, but the fact that she felt enough of a connection to me to be concerned about my well-being was… interesting, to say the least.

"Were you that worried about me? That you'd follow me over going to school?"

"…We got into a fight this morning."

"You and Hina?"

"She decided to make me a lunch without asking, which I told her I wasn't going to eat. Her 'kindness' inevitably comes off as pity, no matter how hard she tries."

"You're kinda terrible sometimes, you know, Sayo?" The irony of the situation wasn't lost on me. How the thing Sayo hated most was the thing I most desperately wanted.

"I'm well aware of that." She smiled mirthlessly. "So I'm here more because you gave me an excuse to run away from my own problems that because I was worried about you."

"And here I almost thought you were being nice."

"To be fair, it _would_ be troublesome if you were to do something stupid." Her expression had, barely perceptibly, softened.

The train we boarded was fairly crowded, but, after we rode it for a bit, the passengers thinned out and we were able to sit down. There was something appealing about the act of just _going_ somewhere. As long as the train was moving, we could keep leaving our problems further and further behind us, until we finally reached a place where they stopped existing. Or maybe it would be better if the train never actually stopped going, if we could just stay in this transitional space, where nothing needed to be decided and no one could come after us, forever.

Sayo seemed to be thinking something similar, because she didn't ask where we were going or how long it would take to get there, just sat gazing at the scenery outside the window.

"Hey, can I braid your hair?" I asked suddenly.

"For what reason?"

"It'll make you look more like Hina."

I thought for a second she was going to hit me for making that comment, which I probably deserved, but she just sighed. "I think I'd be a poor replacement for her, if that's what you're looking for."

"Yeah, but you look similar enough and you're here." That last part was what really mattered. At the moment, anyone would do, as long as they would stay with me.

"I'm honored to hear that." She was almost smiling as she said that, the first time I'd seen her smile in a long time. Maybe saying "anyone would do" wasn't exactly correct. Sayo was hard-headed, and difficult, and rude, but being next to her was oddly comfortable in a way that I knew wasn't the case for just anyone.

"Hey, Sayo. You wanna make a promise?"

"Of what sort?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"You want to get over your complex towards Hina, right? And I don't want to drag out this one-sided feelings thing forever. But it's not super easy to do, so I figured if we each promised to try a little bit at a time and report to each other about our progress it'd give us both a bit of a boost."

She grimaced. "That's… well, I won't deny you might have a point. It's certainly more difficult to slack off if you see someone else putting in effort. But what if both of us are too cowardly to get anything done? What then?"

"You have that little faith in us?"

"Are we not currently quite literally running away from our problems?"

"I mean, we can keep running if you'd rather. I just guess I'd like to find a better solution."

Sayo still looked dubious, but she slowly nodded in agreement.

After a few minutes, there was a thump as her head hit my shoulder, and I realized the rhythmic motion of the train had rocked her to sleep. I briefly considered pushing her off, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant, seeing her acting unguarded around me. There were precious few people in my life who treated me that way, after all.

I woke up the next day feeling refreshed and newly determined. Sayo had upped the stakes last night by texting me saying she'd watched a movie together with Hina after they'd gotten back, so it was my turn to make some sort of move. Which I felt more than ready to do, despite some inescapable nerves.

When I saw her, though, smiling and waving at me as she entered the classroom, that determination threatened to evaporate in an instant. Being around Sayo was, strangely enough, somewhat comforting, but being around her twin was the opposite, driving me into a hopeless mix of excitement and anxiety and making my heart hammer frantically in my chest.

"Lisacchi! Good morning!"

"Hi, Hina! You look like you're in a good mood today." Hina was always energetic, but it seemed like there was something especially vibrant about the atmosphere around her today.

"I sure am! 'Cause I got to spend a whole bunch of time watching a movie with my sister last night!"

"Yeah, she mentioned that to me. Good for you guys!"

Hina cocked her head to the side, the way she always did when something puzzled her. "You guys were together yesterday, too, right? Since when did you get along so well?"

I couldn't really tell her the real reason we'd found common ground, so I tried my best to explain around it. "We've just got, uh, more similarities than we thought? And both of us have been feeling kinda stressed out lately, so we decided to take a bit of a break."

"Huh," she said, seemingly not entirely convinced by my explanation, but after a second her expression brightened again. "Well, anyway, it makes me happy to see my two favorite people being friendly with each other. So that's another reason I'm in a good mood, I guess!"

At those words, I felt something well up in my chest, a soda shaken too hard that was on the verge of blowing its top off. _I_ was in the position next to Sayo. Not any of those idol girls she was always going on about, but me. Did that mean I had a chance? Probably not, but the wishful thinking I thought had burned out some time ago was ablaze in my mind once more, dreaming about potential futures for me and her.

_You're an idiot_ , Sayo would probably say, and she'd be right, but I was too caught up in the moment to care too much.

After classes I made my way up to the astronomy club's room. As usual, Hina was the only one in here, her bright hair barely visible behind several boxes of old books and equipment she was sorting through.

"Oh, Lisacchi!" she said upon noticing my presence. "Guess what!"

"What's up, Hina?"

"My sister said she wanted to go grab something to eat later! I don't really get it, but she's being super nice all of a sudden…"

I felt a twinge of pain in my chest at hearing her words, but tried my best to pay it no mind. Now wasn't the time to be mad at Sayo.

"Oh, that sounds fun!" I was more than a little frustrated, though, at Sayo continuing to one-up me. Maybe it was going to be harder than I'd thought to keep pace with her.

But Hina, as though she'd heard my thoughts, dropped the perfect opportunity right in front of me.

"This is just a hunch, but do you maybe have something to do with her changing?"

"Um, well, I guess I'm not uninvolved…?" It was true that what I'd said probably had a direct correlation with Sayo's actions, but taking credit for them felt a little suspect.

She beamed. "It's made me real happy, so I wanted to know if there was something I could do for you back. I'd try and surprise you myself, but I've never been any good about telling what's going to make people happy…"

This was my chance. It was now or never. A million things I wanted to ask for piled up in my head all at once, and one of them, almost at random, slipped out of my mouth.

"How about, um, a kiss, then?"

A sly grin spread on Hina's face as she heard my words, and her voice was teasing as it came out. It wasn't a side she normally brought out around me, but I couldn't deny it was exceedingly attractive.

"So that's the kind of thing you wanted to do to me, huh, Lisacchi? I never would've guessed."

I could feel the heat rushing to my face as I stood there, waiting for her to pass judgment on me.

"If it's you, though, I'm fine with it, you know?" She beckoned me over, still grinning.

I reached a trembling hand to her cheek, cupping her face the same way I had Sayo's, but much more gently, lovingly. Her skin was soft, and she squirmed, complaining about how ticklish my touch was, as I ran my hand down it. I wanted to drag out this moment as long as possible. But a part of me was also still worried, even though her face was right in front of mine, that this was too good to be true, an illusion that would vanish at my fingertips if I took too long.

So I pressed my lips to hers, reveling in the sensation of having the girl I loved this close to me. And then after a few seconds, I pulled away, reluctantly.

"Hey," I asked suddenly, emboldened by how far she'd let me go, "can we do it one more time?"

"Well, I've got a date with Sayo I don't want to be late to, so no more for today. But if you ask another time," she said, winking coquettishly, "I'll think about it."

Hina waved and left the room, leaving me standing there amidst the dust and boxes, still somewhat dumbfounded. I had no idea how to interpret what had just happened. Did she like me back? Was I just being toyed with? Did it matter?

I sighed deeply and ran a finger over my lips wonderingly once more, then pulled out my phone. At the very least, the thought that I could brag about this Sayo was something to be excited about. A kiss had to be worth a lot more than watching a movie or going out to eat, right? She was going to have to pull out something really impressive if she wanted to catch up.

If this had happened to me a week before, I probably would have been a nervous wreck. But as it was, I felt strangely calm. After all, even in the worst case, if things went terribly wrong for me and Sayo, we'd be able to run away again, wouldn't we?

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my pocket. _I hope you were better at kissing her than you were with me_ , Sayo had responded. A grin slowly rose to my face.

Somehow, being insulted was deeply reassuring.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a weird idea i had but it kinda came together better than i thought it might. i like hinalisa and wanted to write them together but i'm also incapable of not writing sayo into my fics so she's here too


End file.
